My arm candy's testosterone haze fit
neatly to the curves and dips of my frame as we walked,
in step,
through Korea town and Times Square,
and I didn't know
the words to the songs in my head
but they made me cry.
Like rays through thick foliage,
he touched;
through the darkness life had bestowed
his beams sparked the forest floor, komorebi
in my blood, a nameless ache I'd come to love
for its unwavering company.
At one and four and six and
nine I'd woken, so
unaccustomed to another's warmth
and the glide of his legs around me, and lips
pressed to my hair while he'd thought I slept. Tears slipped
in whispers down the dark sid
If leaving smells like salt,
tastes like bloody lips
and bruises on my shins,
I want to stay with you.
When bile rises, surging
toward my throat, my mouth,
my lungs and tongue and teeth,
I want to stay with you.
While you tickle my neck with
soft pouty lips, arms wrapped
from behind, pressed against me,
I want to stay with you.
And watching you fade down
the road, blue and tan and
beautiful in your one-man exodus,
I know the choice was never mine.
Twine
One wraps round me in the night,
afraid I will become ether
and leave to settle in drops on the lawn, ungatherable,
changed without the chance of returning;
the Other drapes a leg over me as part of his languor,
sure that I am constant, measurable;
not to possess me; to let me know I am his
so when I leave my bones are not hollowmy limbs are not
all my own; they are filled with his memory
it is not a weight I resent,
this grounding, as from roots, that makes me strong.
It's been a very long time since I've written in here. I still get on DA sometimes but not as often as I once did. Reading through my old journal entries is surreal. It takes me back to a time and place that seems like someone else's past; not my own. However, it is mine and I'm thankful for having my Livejournal to go back to for refreshers because no matter ones memory, one forgets. I wish I wrote in there as often as I used to for I know I'll regret not placing my thoughts, emotions and happenings presently to read years from now. I hope to work on that failure.
I still don't think I've recovered from the shock of what occurred at one poi
Life is looking up, except for a few matters. Potentially being accused of doing something one didn't do, by the people that one had spent so much time with, really sucks. Yup. I'm pretty stressed out about something but there's nothing I can do about it except sit and wait to see the outcome. It's shocking to think that the people who you thought knew you the best could think so badly of you. I'm just thankful to have two wonderful parent's, a wonderful boyfriend and amazing friends. I have my health and I have intelligence. Those are all things to be thankful for, indeed.
But, at the end of the day I still wish that I wasn't the type